The Overlooked Habit That Transforms Collaboration Across Teams

By Crystal Trevors

Crystal Trevors

As a long-time leader and now a leadership and executive coach, I’m seeing some very consistent patterns across organizations of all sizes and structures.

Friction between departments

One of the most common themes is friction between departments. Leaders feel confident and effective within their own teams but the moment they step into a cross-functional meeting, something shifts.

Information doesn’t land the same way. There’s a tension they can’t quite name. They’re unsure how to navigate the dynamics between departments, and they want to talk it through because the friction is getting in the way of the work.

When these conversations come up in coaching sessions, I’ll often ask a simple question: “What norms guide how you meet and work together?”

The responses are telling. Sometimes I get a perplexed look. More often, it’s a blank one. Occasionally, a team has created their own norms in isolation but they have no idea whether other departments have them.

Sometimes, the organization has never talked about norms at all. And sometimes people assume they have norms… until we dig in and realize they’re actually just personal preferences.

Having relied on norms to support my businesses and work environments for the past 25 years, it still surprises me how many organizations haven’t implemented this simple, low-effort best practice – especially given the impact of not having them.

What Are Norms, Exactly?

When I talk about norms, I’m not talking about anything complicated. They’re simply agreed-upon behaviours or standards for how we show up together. Like:

Examples of Norms

• How we start and end meetings

• How we make decisions

• How we handle disagreement

• How we ensure all voices are heard

• How we follow up and close loops

  
  

These are small things. But the absence of them creates big problems.

The power of norms

My first real exposure to meeting norms was almost 25 years ago when I was working in government. My boss had a hard rule: if there was no agenda sent out ahead of time, we didn’t attend the meeting.

At the time, I didn’t think much of it – it was just how we operated. Meetings ran smoother, people showed up prepared, and conversations felt respectful and productive.

It wasn’t until I moved into other roles that I realized that not every team works this way.

That early experience stuck with me. When I started my own company, I brought norms with me – meetings started on time, active participation was expected, and we made sure all voices were heard.

And when I joined the Wallace McCain Institute for Business Leadership, all smart phones were powered down before our forum sessions started. It was a reminder that the strongest communities rely on shared agreements to create trust, depth, and psychological safety.

It’s a best practice for a reason. And yet, in so many organizations today, norms are either missing, inconsistent, or assumed rather than explicit.

What Happens When Norms Are Missing

Most of us don’t appreciate the value of norms until we’ve lived the negative impact of not having them. When norms are present, collaboration feels easy – there’s a shared rhythm you don’t even think about.

But when they’re missing, or when you’ve never experienced them at all, the absence becomes loud.

I see it all the time in my coaching work where clients speak of:

Meetings that drain energy instead of creating clarity

Teams talking past each other

People interpreting behaviour instead of asking questions

Leaders struggling to influence outside their own silo

Cross-functional work that feels like pushing a boulder uphill

None of this is because people are difficult. It’s just that the container for collaboration is missing.

The Hidden Costs

When norms are missing, people fill the gaps with assumptions, interpretations, and personal rules of engagement. That’s where friction grows.

I’ve watched leaders who are brilliant within their own team suddenly struggle in cross‑functional spaces – not because of their capability, but because everyone is operating with a different set of unspoken rules.

And the emotional labour that comes with that is real.

What strikes me is how simple this fix is. Organizations don’t need a major initiative or a six‑month project.

They just need to pause long enough to ask: “How do we want to work together?”

It’s low‑hanging fruit. It costs nothing. And it changes the tone of collaboration almost immediately.

How to bolster clarity

My encouragement – to leaders, teams, and organizations – is this: You don’t have to wait for conflict or frustration to set in before creating shared agreements.

Norms are one of the simplest ways to reduce friction and increase clarity.

And in my experience, they’re one of the most overlooked.

Crystal Trevors is an accomplished executive coach with Vision Coaching. An entrepreneur, author and award-winning business leader, she has more than 25 years of experience spanning science, innovation, and business.